Without further adieu we share with you the story the epic arrival of Jake Ryan Stockton into our family on August 16th 2017. . .
I haven't blogged too much about Jake's pregnancy but suffice to say it was the best one I have ever had!! I was working out, eliminating and limiting sugar, and had a lot of energy:) The days turned into weeks and the weeks to months and before you know it we are nine months into the pregnancy. At each appointment we start to see that Jake is not in the head down position and as each week passes we become more and more concerned.
As we approach the final weeks I decide to try everything I can to get Jake to turn including exercises, standing on my head, swimming, and the chiropractor. All in all the results are resoundingly the same he is not in the right position. I decide to seek a second opinion after our due date comes and goes. The other doctor does a turning method that temporarily puts Jake in the head down position and he stays there for a few hours. The doctor is sure that this will do it and Jake will be ready for a normal delivery. By my afternoon appointment that day, Jake had once again turned into the transverse position and my doctor gave us our options.
As we were now over 41 weeks we were literally running out of time, statistically speaking I would go into labor any day now and if I did and he was breech we could both be in danger. So we had three options. 1. Wait and see what happens if I go into labor. 2. Do an ECV procedure (aka flip him again in the hospital) and break my water to induce labor. 3. Opt for a C-section. We weighed the options heavily and I could not sleep. I was so afraid of making the right choice so we prayed hard. I wrestled with the decision and also with the emotional feelings of letting go of my own desire for a natural home water birth. I wanted so badly for Jake to arrive peacefully in a birth center or our home med free. It was time to let go of my dream in pursuit of a new journey.
I had no idea about the journey we would embark on just days later. We call my doctor and tell her that we have decided to go forward with a C-section. She schedules and literally a couple days later we are in the waiting room for surgery. I have never had any surgery besides my wisdom teeth pulled and I absolutely do not know what to expect. The hospital staff come in to go over procedures and prep me for surgery and I am at this point still having contractions that are now monitored on the machine. We go in for surgery and things seem to be going great. They break my water during surgery and Jake is still not in position so we then know that the decision we made was by far the only one. They take him out and show him to me and I can't wait to hold him to snuggle him, to see him.
The NICU is called they are sucking his lungs out with a machine. Jared is about to pass out and is being wheeled out of the room. The time seems to inch by as I wait to hear him cry still being operated on myself. I hear faint cries and then they wheel him over to me in an incubator. I tell them I want to hold him, to touch him, to see him. They tell me they are taking him. He is not breathing correctly and I will have to wait. . .
The surgery ends and the silence in the room is palpable. I am wheeled to recovery where I once again demand to see my baby. Jared is here and is better now and is going between myself and Jake trying to figure out what's going on. I am very very sick and they take me to my room. The entire day is spent being sick and dizzy and not being able to move. They tell me that in order to see Jake I must be able to get to NICU they cannot bring him to me. The emotions begin to flood me. . . I have not seen my baby or touched him at all. Minutes turn to hours and night begins to fall. . . The kids visit but they cannot see Jake. It is a bittersweet reunion interrupted only by myself getting sick more. Finally at one am not sure if I would pass out or not, I demand to be led by wheelchair to my baby.
God is gracious and he restores so much of what is lost. The moment I held Jake time passed away all of our circumstances didn't seem to matter much once he was in my arms. I told the NICU nurse that I would be there every single feeding and I wanted to nurse him each time. She looked at me a bit in disbelief and suggested I rest and assured me he would be fine with the bottle and donor milk. I showed up again in three hours, and then three more, and more until they finally began to see progress and started to talk about releasing him.
They finally release him on Friday morning and he is able to room in with us. I am thrilled and I feel like we have turned such a hard corner. He is also at this point exclusively breastfeeding something I desired so greatly for him. As the day goes on the kids come for another visit. They are so excited to finally meet and hold Jake. I am sick again and it is quickly realized that pain medication does not work well with my body and I decide to give that up so I can be able to function more normally with the kids. They give me Motrin and Tylenol and I decide that must be enough we were ready to go home.
Saturday comes and the sun pierces through the clouds. Just like so many other days but not. I wake up to the sound of Jake crying and its so sweet to me. There is a funny thing about the clarity that comes after a trial. I look down and I see a scar. The thing about scars is so often times it reminds us of battles we fought. Jake Ryan is a fighter. We fought this battle together for life. The scar I bear is a reminder that life is so precious and it is worth the battle.
Jake Ryan my little warrior this story is for you. May you know and always trust that God is ever present in our times of trouble, ever faithful in healing, and ever gracious with His love.
Always yours,
Mommy
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